Harry Potter Vs. Twilight: The Great Debate

For the last couple of years, there has been a phenomenon taking the world by storm. No matter where you look, there are signs of its presence: Books, posters, pictures, t-shirts, action figures, and all sorts of other paraphernalia. It can cause females of most ages to turn into screaming maniacs in a matter of seconds. Its power has taken control of millions. This force's name is...Twilight!

Now, I don't understand Twilight. Don't get me wrong, I love vampires, I love werewolves, I even like a nice, romantic story now and then. But this, it doesn't do it for me. The all-powerful badboy killer is a stalker, the girl is co-dependant, and the dialogue is, well, laughable. Now, while I haven't read the books, my wife made me sit and watch the first movie. She assured me that if I didn't care for it, I certainly wouldn't enjoy the books. And believe me, to say I didn't care for the movie is putting it lightly.

So, am I being unfair to the Twilight phenomenon? Is there something to it that I'm missing? Is there an underlying, deeper message in all of it? The fans tell me there is. The message is love: true love, forbidden love, dangerous love. But in a time when society is eschewing princesses and fairy tales and people are looking for strong female characters for young girls to embrace, why would folks be attracted to a book series where the female lead is anything but? I'm told that it's romantic, but to me, there's nothing romantic about obsessing over someone the way that Bella obsessed over Edward. It's throwing feminism out the window. And I am apparently immune to its sway.

But not long ago, I was swayed by a phenomenon that was taking over the world the way that Twilight has. Everyone, it seemed, was buying into it. You couldn't turn around without seeing the influence of it. Even now, it still has dedicated followers numbering in the millions. That force of nature started with a book about a 10-year-old wizard named Harry Potter.

I had no real interest in any book series aimed at a younger audience. But then there were the calls for bans of the books by religious groups, and my interest piqued. Then the first movie came out, and I watched it, instantly falling in love with the story. I sat down and read the first three books back to back. I was surprised at how intelligent the books were written. While being labled "kids' books", they seemed like something more sophisticated. They didn't talk down to children, and seemed to be written as much for grown ups as for young people. Our young hero, a social outcast, finds out that his deceased parents were wizards, and that he is to leave for a school for people with magical abilities. Every book in the seven book series chronicles a year in his life, and how every year he and his friends deal with a new terror that threatens their lives, and they deal with the growing pains that teenagers deal with, world of magic or not. The magic of the books - the school set in a medieval castle, the mythical creatures, the way it uses a fantasy world to deal with everyday issues like racism and class struggle - made me an instant fan. I have read all of the books, and have loved everyone of them.

So what makes a kids' book about wizards more inviting than a book about a "lion falling in love with a lamb" (yeah, that line makes me feel like vomiting as well)? I suppose the Twilighters could be right, that I can't get into the head of a teenage girl, and can't understand how they think about love. But I feel that's an unfair claim. After all, there are plenty of females that love Harry Potter, and understand him. It has to be more than that.

First off, the writing. JK Rowling has a wonderful writing style, and even at her low points, she's amazing. The dialogue is wonderful, and the characters are deep and well-conceived. She not only makes you care about the people in her stories, but she makes them so real, you feel a kinship with them. You're actually on these adventures with them. You feel what they're feeling, and every book is an emotional rollercoaster. You laugh one chapter, and weep the next. The closest I came to feeling an emotional bond with any of the characters in Twilight was laughing at unintentionally funny lines.

Second, the story. I was bored enough with the struggle of Bella and Edward by the end of the first movie. I couldn't imagine investing time in multiple books that only deal with one love story. And how long can you really listen to mopey Bella moan about how she can't have what she wants? The HP books, on the other hand, are new and exciting every time. Sure, you could argue that it's the long, drawn out wait until the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort, but Rawling makes you want to see how the next chapter will play out. It engrosses you, envelops you, and makes you part of the story.

So, maybe what it all really boils down to is personal taste. I dig Star Wars, heavy metal, horror movies, and all sorts of other things that many others dislike. I'm not going to try to change their minds, and they certainly won't change my mind. So I say, to each their own. Viva la difference. You go out, stand in line for the midnight showings of the Twilight sage movies, you read the books, buy the soundtracks, wear the t-shirts, and sit and gush over how much you love Robert Patterson's hair. Just please, don't try to get me to enjoy any of it.

Because, after all, I'm right.

The Holiday Season

Here we are again, amidst another great Holiday season. Thanksgiving is nearly here, and then we dive headlong into Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, or whatever holiday it is you celebrate. It's a time of year that I love. And I say that without the slightest bit of irony. I should hate it, because between spending two months wages on my kids, working retail with a public that makes Christmas more hectic that it needs to be, and trying to arrange celebrations with every family member, it causes migranes and ulcers. But call me sentimental (or, at the very least, mental), but I have fond memories of Christmas. The excitement of the month, waiting to see what Santa was going to bring me. The difficult time I had sleeping on Christmas Eve, and the joy that was going out to the living room and seeing what gifts had been put under the tree for my sister and I.

But I've noticed that the Christmas season isn't what it was so long ago. Christmas commercials no longer reflect on times long ago, filled with sentimentality and nostalgia, but are just holiday-themed versions of their regular commercials. Television specials no longer make an effort to show how special a time it is, but exagerate the stress of the season. Nor do they make the effort to show the great animated specials we cherished as kids. We try too hard to recreate our happy memories for a generation that doesn't have time for such frivolities, like Clark Griswald, questioning our parents how they did it all.

Well, it's not our fault. The last few generations have learned to live without nostalgia. The internet has it there for them at the click of a mouse. While we had the memory of the great and wonderful times (usually created in our heads), they can go to YouTube, where one of their friends has probably posted it. They can watch A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS online, where as we had to wait until it was shown on TV every December. And then there's the fact that we've gotten our kids into so many activities, that they don't have time to sit down and enjoy a cup of egg nog and a cookie with us. How many of us actually have a free weekend anytime after the middle of Novemeber? Commercials that once showed retro Christmases with family and friends gathered together have given way to advertisements for $200 robot dinosaurs, and other toys that our kids will play with once, and either break or forget about once the next XBox game comes out.

So we do as we've been doing for the last few years. We run around trying to find the perfect presents that won't send our kids into hysterics, the biggest turkey and ham for our rushed dinners with family, and spend $20 on that Special Edition DVD of WHITE CHRISTMAS. But if I might, I'd like to give some advice. Whether our not you take it is completely up to you.

Take a day or two. Don't plan anything for that time period, other than sitting with your family. Turn off the cell phones and computer, and bake some cookies. Break out some Christmas candy. Turn up the strereo and listen to some Bing Crosby. Put up the tree, string the lights, pop in A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS, and enjoy yourselves. And maybe - just maybe - you can create some fond memories with your kids that they'll actually want to share with their kids.

Oh, and don't buy them socks for Christmas. No one likes that.